Note from Jeff: Below is the story of the victim of Ray McBerry’s “inappropriate relationship”, first reported by the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s Jim Galloway. I have been speaking to this lady for nearly a month now – this story first broke on March 17, and I was speaking directly to her via text message and phone conversation before the week was out, after she found me. At first, this lady – who chooses to remain publicly anonymous at this time, but whose name and contact information I have – was extremely hesitant to talk about this subject at all, even as she was reaching out to me. She wanted to meet in person, unfortunately an honor I have yet to have. I have, however, also spoken with her mother via the phone, and her mother corroborates this story as well. Finally, this lady agreed to simply write her story. I present it to you below edited ONLY for spelling and grammar. As far as publication of this story, I am solely responsible – not even Tom, my business partner on this particular site, nor any other organization I am affiliated with should be held accountable. It is the policy of SWGAPolitics.com to not reveal the identities of victims of sexual assault, sexual harassement, or other such crimes without the express consent of the victim.
Without further ado, I give you Ray McBerry’s Victim’s story:
I first met Mr. McBerry in the church we went to together when I was in middle school, I believe, but the first memory of actually talking or anything of those sorts was after we left that church and went another one, where he became the youth leader. At that time the church just started and we didn’t have a youth pastor so he stepped in as the youth leader. Once the church moved to a store front and not the Pastors house, is when I really remember anything about him. I remember on Wednesday nights walking down to his house with the youth group, maybe 4-6 teens, and having our youth service in his house, because it was close and there was no room at the store front. It was all normal, fun, and I learned a lot. Slowly Mr. McBerry and I became closer, we had a lot in common, we both loved history, especially Civil War history. He did something for a group he was part of where he went and looked for grave yards of past civil war soldiers, and well me being me, I liked old grave yards. Still to this day, like to stop and look at the old grave sites. I remember me asking my parents if I could go with him to do this. And well him being the “youth leader” my parents didn’t see anything wrong with it. Him and his ex-wife would come over for dinner at my parents house every once in a while with their son. Well during this time, I was in High School, about the end of 10th grade, going to summer. I got a boyfriend, one my parents didn’t approve. So I went to Mr. McBerry and asked for his input, he said listens to your parents, and that the relationship would not be approved by God. I remember going into the first day of band camp the summer after 10th grade, and breaking up with the guy. It was hard at the time, because I had known him sine 6th grade and we were good friends, and still continued to be through out the rest of high school. Well I think that was the beginning of everything, is when I went to him for help, not my parents but me.
Somehow between all this, something went astray. The first real memory I can recall by detail is when I was in I believe the 11th grade because I was driving home from school, and I passed him when he was stopped at a stop sign. He was like second in line at the stop sign, and he cut threw the grass and got behind me. I saw this and ignored him, because it kinda freaked me out. Well after a while, I couldn’t ignore him anymore, I pulled over at a gas station. He got out, and really don’t remember what he wanted, but I the reason had to be a decent one because I didn’t think it was weird. After a while, we would meet after school in the big graveyard in McDonough, because his wife was at home. At first it was non physical, I guess is the word to say. Slowly it became more of a male female relationship instead of Adult child relationship. Yes I did think he was cute and had a crush on him, but I was 16, It was like a high schooler having a crush on their teacher, pretty normal. What wasn’t normal was him acting on it back. Slowly it became more physical, kissing, making out and such, rather not get into detail here. Him and his wife invited me to go to a Civil War ball I think at Jekyll Island or Tybee Island. Nothing really happened, except he would tell me such things like, I wish we could come out about our relationship, hold hands and such.
At some point during all this we got a real Youth Pastor. And Mr. McBerry asked if he could continue to help out with the youth group. I also helped out with his Sunday school class at church also.
. I think the main thing that made it come out, was my Best Friend, coming home from a youth trip where we went white water rafting. He sat beside me in the van, not his wife. And when I skinned my knee up, instead of one of the women helpers like his wife, or the youth pastors wife helping me, he insisted he do it.
Soon after the white water rafting trip, Him and his wife got a divorce, that’s when it got serious so to say. He got me a cell phone so that my parents wouldn’t see me calling him or him calling me. At this time I was into Instant Messenger, and when my parents and the new youth pastor started to realize that something was going on. He got me two programs of spyware so that my parents couldn’t see what I was doing. I started to go to his house after his wife moved out, after school or on the days when I had band practice at 6 instead of right after school, between the time school let out and time to be there I would go to his house. I think this is also when my friends at school noticed something was weird about me, because usually I’d stay after school and goof off with them. He would come to my football games that were home and away, also went to a few band competitions. He also told me a week or so before it all came out that he had bought me a ring. Always in the back of my mind I thought it was right wrong, but he always confirmed that it was alright. That this was normal back in the day. The man would be older and already have a stable life, unlike a younger guy, and that is why they married young back then. Well made sense at the time. One thing about Mr. McBerry was and is he’s very manipulative.
After a while my parents, the pastor and the youth pastor got involved gave him many warnings. During this time I became detached (not sure if that’s the right word to say) from my family, friends, and church. I became very confrontational with my parents, and the youth pastor and his wife. I was lying to cover for him and me, even though they were telling me that it wasn’t my fault, that he is an adult and should know better. Many Wednesday nights after church we would meet on a dirt road on the way to my house. One night, I didn’t leave immediately like I usually did, I had lost my phone and was talking to a friend. Well, Mr. McBerry came flying back into the parking lot at the church, and I Knew that he was upset. Well I left before him this time, and he was right behind me. I remember him being really upset and hitting his car, I think that night is what made me tell everything because he scared me bad. Well, the youth pastor and his wife followed us. I’m not sure what happened with my parents, the youth pastor and Mr. Mcberry.
Soon after that is when I told them everything. The night I remember coming out and tell the truth about everything, My dad (yes technically my step-father, but he is my daddy) sat me down about 12 am and told me I needed to tell the truth. Well I broke down finally, and told him I wouldn’t unless the youth pastor and his wife’s were there. So at 1 in the morning we went over and told them what had been going on. Well, the pastor and youth pastor told him to not come back. Well he tried the Sunday after, and I’ll never forget it. I hid and was so scared. The elders of the church met him in the parking lot and told him to leave.
After all it was said and done with, I felt a lot better. We got a restraining order on him, because I would see him sitting in a parking lot on my way to school or church. It got to the point to where I didn’t drive to school or church, I rode the bus to school and my parents took me to church and choir practice. He also posted a sign on the church window for puppy’s for sale. And I knew what it was because I had talked about wanting this kind of dog, and a symbol that was on it, two R’s back to back. After a while, never saw him or heard anything, except him running for governor. I do know that he sent a long letter to my parents but they didn’t let me read it till this year.
Since then I have gone through a lot. This situation played with my mind. I still don’t like going out in public by myself because I’m scared I’ll run into him. It tore me away from church. My mom had some health problems, and then this happened, I didn’t know how to handle it except for the easy way. I was a child that was thrown into an adult problem and I couldn’t handle it, I was embarrassed and ashamed. It all happening sent me into a deep depression and I tried to commit suicide, am I completely blaming it on Mr. McBerry, no, but it didn’t help either. I graduated high school, got a job, and a boyfriend. Well the end of 2004 I decided to go to a Baptist college in North Carolina. That didn’t go too well, I didn’t fit in, and was still not ready to trust anyone. I went only one semester and during the summer of 2005 I moved out of my parents’ house and into with my boyfriend, now husband. Yes I drank, but I don’t now and haven’t since I went back to college which was in 2007. A few years later, I don’t remember why, but I was having another problem with depression, and I was tired of being angry all the time, and never happy. So, I tried to solve it the easy way again. I still continue to fight with bouts of depression and such feelings, but I have great Husband and family. Now I’ve been married for 2 years to a great guy who is there for me and treats me like a princess so to say, and we have a Chihuahua that is spoiled, but still to this day, Mr. McBerry is a hard subject for me to talk about, to even think about it. Every time I think about it I feel like a 16 year old again with all the insecurities and everything again. I haven’t gotten over it, or forgave him for it and I should. But the truth getting told, might help me get over all this.
CORRECTION: The strike through above was corrected after publication when the victim saw it upon reading Jim Galloway’s post and texted me asking for that specific correction.
All I can say is wow.
[...] evening, Jeff Sexton at SWGAPolitics.com has published what he says is a first-person account from the young lady in the case. He does not [...]
I am sure in the name of journalistic due diligence you have been able to substantiate and have a copy of the alleged “restraining order” “letter to her parents” any court documents pertaining to criminal charges that would normally come with such allegations. The crap that passes as journalism these days astounds me. If McBerry actually did these acts then it is wrong and inexcusable. Allegations of this magnitude would have some legitimate documentation and until that is produced, it is just a libelous smear against he and his campaign.
parsonsproject:
The scary thing for you is: What if I do?
Well, that is an interesting article you have here. I’ll be interested to see where it goes.
“The scary thing for you is: What if I do?”
Jeff: I don’t care whether you do or not, except that if you do I’d like to know so we can get at the truth.
If you have it, then just produce the evidence already; offering a flip response like this doesn’t benefit anybody who’s actually interested in getting to the truth of the matter.
Except that producing that would necessarily identify the victim, which it’s our policy not to do with her express consent.
Also keep in mind that these are HER words, words that she wrote herself and Jeff simply gave her a venue. Are they true or not? At this point, you get to decide. However, anyone who calls this a “libelous smear” simply because of a lack of documentation presented obviously doesn’t even have a clue what libel is.
You assume that I have a fear of facts. Facts influences my opinion. I just want to know the truth and there are some things that just don’t add up. I am just unsure as to why there were not any criminal charges in any of the instances that presumably happened. Ray does not outright deny this happened either. I am not running for office so I could really give a flip. I know that women are victimized every day. I also know that teens (male and female) fantasize about situations that may or may not have actually happened, and tend to embellish truth. I know of many who have had their lives and careers ruined because of it only to have it come out later that it was all or mostly false.
I guess the next question to pose is…if all the people running for office are corrupt politicians, is this enough to dismiss Ray and vote in another? Would you rather have a womanizer or a same-ole same-ole democrat or republican crook in there?
Seems that most who seek office are ultimately seeking one thing, and that is to be in a position of power, authority and control. Some seek to control women, people in general, money or business interests. Of late, Media seems to have the same motives. Media controls the image of politics, and dirt sells ads. Ray has shown that he is just an odd side of the same coin.
Perhaps we should seek freedom and liberty by dissolving all government and let the family be the highest earthly government there is. In order to have liberty, you must also let others have liberty. If you try to squelch freedom, you will never be free yourself. Are the skeletons in your closet? Is anyone truly righteous enough to seek public office?
@Tom: Defamation—also called calumny, vilification, slander (for transitory statements), and libel (for written, broadcast, or otherwise published words)—is the communication of a statement that makes a claim, expressly stated or implied to be factual, that may give an individual, business, product, group, government, or nation a negative image. It is usually, but not always, a requirement that this claim be false and that the publication is communicated to someone other than the person defamed (the claimant). Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know what Libel is. The court papers could be released and names blacked out. Perhaps we should just trust everything we read on the internet as gospel truth…
Wow. All that and you missed the part were it isn’t libel if it’s true. The lack of documentation being shown to you does not make it libel, or a libelous smear as you put it. You don’t want to accept it without the documentation? That’s fine. I could really care less. But it doesn’t change the fact that not presenting documentation doesn’t equal libel.
[...] when Jim Galloway first reported on it, as if her story wasn’t further damning when she came forward with her story, as if the restraining order revealed by her mother wasn’t “pretty [...]
Quite honestly, I dont buy it. If anyone did this with my daughter, they would be in jail. Also I have heard this called child molestation. I see it as possible statutory rape. But I am sick of teenagers being made out to be victims. This girl knew what she was doin at 16 years old. At 16 kids DO understand this stuff and have some responsibility for what happened too. Instead they tend to claim nothing is their fault and play the victim.
Secondly, I have seen zero evidence that any of this is actually true. And yes, without evidence this is libel and defamation of character. If it is not true, Mr McBerry should sue these people.
The fact is that just because someone makes an accusation does not make it true. If evidence is not forthcoming, I and many others will view this as a political attack with no basis in reality.
dbrock,
You may want to look at a couple more posts. Namely here and here. There is proof.
And no, it’s not libel without proof (though it’s there). It’s only libel if it’s false and is intended to cause harm. It has to meet both criteria, otherwise, it’s not. Trust me, if this were false, I suspect we would have heard from McBerry’s camp already.
Very simply, a judge looked at this and said there was not enough evidence to even try the guy. All I have seen are accusations by this girl and her parents and a school board. School boards over-react to everything so I don’t put much stock in what they think.
And silence does not mean guilt.
The letter is creepy without a doubt. Obviously the guy was pretty emotionally screwed up when he wrote it.
I have read the accusations from the girl and her parents.
But I am yet to see any PROOF whatsoever. If he was guilty, why was he not tried in a court and convicted? You all are trying him in the court of public opinion but I am interested in facts, not accusations.
The fact is that the courts did not believe there was any real evidence. I will trust in their judgment.
Don’t believe it? That’s fine. But it doesn’t make it any less true.
Keep in mind that McBerry’s dad was a prosecutor in that county. While it doesn’t necessarily mean that came into play, it is something to keep in mind before saying “he wasn’t tried, so he’s obviously innocent”.
Lol you can say it is true that the sky is green. That doesnt make it true.
And I am interested if you guys are now calling the Henry County court system and specifically a DA and a judge in Henry county corrupt.
To Racheal
You are a very brave and special young woman. It took much courage for you to tell you parents and youth pastor what was going on. And, it took much courage for you to allow your name to be made public.
Never, ever blame yourself, or let any moronic comments in the blogs get you down. You survived this, and are a strong person.
I wish all victims of predators could have your bravery to come forward. We should all do everything we can to prevent these predator sociopaths from ever harming another child.
Your bravery and grace are humbling.
lol Yes Rachel you did a good job at making Mr McBerry look evil without much in the way of evidence. So little in fact that a judge agreed with my view thus far and would not even issue a warrant. Your seeking public retribution certainly took courage.
No clue if you are a brave or special woman as some moronic blog posts have stated because I dont know you anymore than they do.
Also please take some responsibility Rachel. I also had a rough time growing up and was in fact sexually molested at a much younger age. But I am responsible for my actions, not those who hurt me. You seem to think its ok to put the blame for your suicide attempt, depression and other problems on Mr McBerry. I know from experience that a therapist would tell you to learn to take responsibility for your own actions and your part in things.
Most 16 year olds I know know alot more than we like to think they do. She knew what she was doing.
[...] Ray McBerry Campaign has finally publicly responded to Rachel Gandee, her mother Linda, and Ray’s ex-wife Sarah’s [...]
[...] herself onto the public stage, starting with a detailed account of her relationship with McBerry on SWGAPolitics.com, a southwest Georgia political blog run by Jeff Sexton. “The truth getting told,” she wrote, [...]
@PARSONSPROJECT and @DBROCK: Now that the “facts” are out, do you feel better? I could care less whether you’re convinced it happened or not; I just want to know whether you are satisfied that the “facts” have now been “documented.”
@Jeff and @Tom: Thank you for your journalistic integrity. In the future, please do not dignify stupidy with any response. My grandfather used to say: “a fool won’t argue long by himself.” I am not so sure about that anymore. In any event, there’s no reason to get down on their level.
General post:
Having practiced criminal law for over 10 years (including some pretty sick/depraved individuals), I have come to appreciate the difference between a good defense and moral right and wrong. A 34yo TEACHER taking advantage of his position of trust to sexually influence a sexually immature (not concerned about her level of knowledge about sex, just her emotional readiness)16yo is morally wrong IMO. I hope most readers would agree with this statement or else we have bigger problems in our society.
And since when does an adult showing more restraint and maturity than 98% of society stand as proof that the family is lying? All his restraint proves to me is that his love of Jesus Christ and belief in God’s grace exceeded his desire/need to whip McBerry’s a** (which I would have done in a heart beat). Of course, I don’t profess to be a bible-thumping Christian; so, maybe I am ignorant on why whipping that scum’s a** was the Christian thing to do.
The bottom line to this whole story should have been that whether this incident happened or not (phrased that way for the benefit of the knuckle-dragging neanderthals that choose to ignore the “facts”), the real issue is whether we want a guy even RUNNING for Governor who resigned his job, and had his teaching licensed suspended (I know, only for 5 days – do you really want to have that argument?) because he could not be trusted with the children of our state? Does it make any sense that Georgia voters are now being asked to trust him with control of the entire Executive branch of our State? I’m obviously insane to think it is absurd to have to ask that question. Let me go find my lithium!
I agree that every human is without sin. Sin, however, comes in degrees. Me running a stop sign does not equal someone else’s lying on their tax return. McBerry CHOSE to run for Governor. Now he is held under closer scrutiny than if he had made a different career choice. Let’s be fair, sexual misdeeds are about the only remaining bipartisan issue. What I don’t understand is how one party can impeach a President for an act between consenting adults while vigorously defending/supporting a Supreme Court Justice nominee accussed of sexual harassment, a U.S. Senator who hire prostitutes, and a candidate for Governer who either molests children or commits acts of statutory rape.
I want to finish with a sincere thank you and expression of admiration for Rachel. Despite what the innumerous crazies may say, you ARE a very brave young woman with courage and life wisdom beyond your years. Thank you for speaking up so that many Georgians, while not a majority, will not waste their vote on this clearly unfit character. Many of his voters would have voted for him based on their principles and values; ones that they thought he shared. Due to your courage, you have exposed him for the fraud that he is. You are a true hero to many. May God richly bless you and your family!
[...] onto the public stage, starting with a detailed account of her relationship with McBerry on SWGAPolitics.com, a southwest Georgia political blog run by Jeff Sexton. “The truth getting told,” she wrote, [...]
I may regret commenting, but my train-wreck curiosity keeps me interested in this story, especially since I grew up in school with Ray, and my daughter attended school with Rachel. From a totally unbiased point of view with some personal knowledge of both, I think it was inappropriate at the very least, but the only victims are the people now having to hear about the drama. I believe there was gross dysfunction on both sides… a codependent man feeling a loss of control in a broken marriage, and a rebellious teenage girl battling depression. I do not believe there was any sort of predatory behavior on Ray’s part like so many have alluded to by calling him a pedophile. From years of volunteering in various programs I have seen this over and over where deflicted people are drawn to other deflicted people often becoming obsessed. I also believe the truth falls somewhere in the middle of all the statements made. I personally do not think this was an appropriate way to move past an incident from the past, but was a successful attempt at gaining negative attention. Not to mention the church they attended together was quite creepy in my opinion.
As far as the race for Governor I think Ray has good intentions, but anyone can see just from the rambling letter that he is not of the caliber we need for this position. Anyway real politicians deny, not apologize and ask for forgiveness.
[...] of McBerry’s past actions tarnish the honor and trust that Georgians place with teachers. Insight from the victim, alludes to McBerry abusing the moral standards associated with the teaching profession for his own [...]
[...] politicians, has been the bloggers. For example, it was SWGA Politics that broke the Ray McBerry story. While the traditional news media broke the story of the Glenn Richardson suicide attempt, it was [...]